Sunday, April 23, 2006

Parenting

As a parent myself I have taken some interest in the big bucks industry that is telling other people how to raise their children. My wife has read all the books and therefore has been brainwashed into feeling guilty every time she does something that isn't 'recommended' as per the book. I haven't read any of the books and therefore am completely unqualified to raise a child. Quite frankly I am surprised child services haven't been around to observe to make sure I am feeding him etc ok. If it wasn't for my wife reading the books and therefore being qualified as a parent, I am sure they would.

I am just kidding of course, the reality is, and I have no qualms in saying this, she is a superior parent (superiority based on ability to watch hours of the Muppets - 1 episode in fact. Over and over and over). I put this down to her being at home with him much more then I am and therefore has had much more practice, and is generally more patient then me, rather then the fact she has read the books. However, I am not writing to compare my tough love parenting technique (aka lazy parenting) to that of my wife's much more nurturing approach. I am writing to comment on an article that appeared in the paper about a big issues facing parents today - Bullying.

The article discussed the plight of some parents in the UK and the USA who have tried fruitlessly all the recommended strategies for dealing with bullying of their children such as alerting teachers, talking to the bullies parents, educating their children etc. All to no avail. Finally in frustration at seeing their children continually hurt they have basically lost in and throttled the little bullying bastards themselves. To these people I say - FUCKING AWESOME!

The author of the article sympathised with these people and mentioned how she suffered similar torment at seeing her daughter being bullied. She tried all the do gooder, child pyschology recommended approaches. In the end however, what worked instantly, was, after witnessing her daughter being roughly pinched by the bully, she went over and menacingly whispered in the little pricks ear - "If you ever hurt my child again I will hurt you". Worked perfectly. I bet you won't see that in any How To Raise Your Child Manual! Maybe in the revised edition they could have a chapter - when diplomacy fails, punch the little fucker in the face yourself.

regards

Cracker

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