Paris Hilton - The soap opera continues
So Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days. Who else thinks this is absolutely hilarious? Perhaps the funniest thing since, um, last weeks Alec Baldwin phone call to his daughter. Or kind hearted Eddie Murphy just giving the down on her/his luck transsexual prostitute a lift home. Or serial animal botherer Steve Irwin being killed by an angry animal he had just bothered. Or David Hasselhoff, drunk in his hotel room, eating pizza off the floor, whilst being told off by his daughter. Oh life is full of funny happenings. Alright, perhaps the Steve Irwin jibe was a bit below the belt.
Anyway back to Paris. When I first heard she was going to jail I laughed myself stupid. Little did I know the saga was going to get better! She is, as is her right, going to fight her sentence. Her defence is coming on 2 fronts. Firstly, a legal one. Her lawyers are lodging an appeal. The word on the street is that this has little chance of winning though due to the overwhelming evidence against her.
The second front that she is going to try and get out of jail, and this is sad because it probably has more chance of winning her freedom, is through a petition on her myspace page.
The petition, and I didn’t just make this up, is worded as follows:
"Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."
"We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong... "This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life."
Yes I am so sure her, er, career (????) will spiral into nothingness after 45 days in jail.
Now I want you all to do a little mental exercise for me. It won’t be hard. Close your eyes and imagine your life as it is now. Next, imagine your life with Paris Hilton in jail for 45 days. In the second imagination did you notice how much your apparently mundane life lacked beauty and excitement? Did you suddenly find yourself despondent at the lack of hope you had? Didn’t think so!
In fact, and maybe it’s just the schadenfreude speaking, but if they do actually put her in jail, I think I would feel significantly more inclined to have hope. To hope that the law doesn’t treat filthy rich hot chicks better then the rest of us.
According to Paris the law treats filthy rich hot chick’s worse! She says the reason they pulled her over is because cops are always doing it to trying to hit one her. Never mind the fact that when she was caught she was driving around at night time with the headlights off. That was of course the second time she was caught. Not including the actual initial drink driving incident. So by her rationale everybody else is also constantly breaking the law but they only pick on her because she is Paris Hilton. Whatever!
It really is very hard to feel sorry for old Paris. My wife and I both agree that 45 days in a minimum security jail wouldn’t be so bad. Then again, we have small children so we view any opportunity to get away as akin to a tropical holiday. We also both like to read and could probably fill 45 days quite comfortably with all the books we wouldn’t mind catching up on. Probably not such a big help for Paris that one.
And furthermore, it is not like she is going to get touched up in there by the other women. I mean I have seen the DVD. She is a total dead root if ever there was one (clearly no publicist on hand telling her to play up to the camera on that fateful occasion). Look, if I was facing time in the slammer I would do everything I could to stay out too. But I just can’t help think to myself when I read her petition that perhaps she over estimates her importance just a bit. I think a bit of time behind bars would do her good.
When she comes out she will still be the same old Paris getting photographed at everything, partying away etc. But deep down, she will know that at the end of the day she is just like the rest of us. Except rich and hot. And that should be comfort enough.
Until next time
Cracker
Anyway back to Paris. When I first heard she was going to jail I laughed myself stupid. Little did I know the saga was going to get better! She is, as is her right, going to fight her sentence. Her defence is coming on 2 fronts. Firstly, a legal one. Her lawyers are lodging an appeal. The word on the street is that this has little chance of winning though due to the overwhelming evidence against her.
The second front that she is going to try and get out of jail, and this is sad because it probably has more chance of winning her freedom, is through a petition on her myspace page.
The petition, and I didn’t just make this up, is worded as follows:
"Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."
"We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong... "This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life."
Yes I am so sure her, er, career (????) will spiral into nothingness after 45 days in jail.
Now I want you all to do a little mental exercise for me. It won’t be hard. Close your eyes and imagine your life as it is now. Next, imagine your life with Paris Hilton in jail for 45 days. In the second imagination did you notice how much your apparently mundane life lacked beauty and excitement? Did you suddenly find yourself despondent at the lack of hope you had? Didn’t think so!
In fact, and maybe it’s just the schadenfreude speaking, but if they do actually put her in jail, I think I would feel significantly more inclined to have hope. To hope that the law doesn’t treat filthy rich hot chicks better then the rest of us.
According to Paris the law treats filthy rich hot chick’s worse! She says the reason they pulled her over is because cops are always doing it to trying to hit one her. Never mind the fact that when she was caught she was driving around at night time with the headlights off. That was of course the second time she was caught. Not including the actual initial drink driving incident. So by her rationale everybody else is also constantly breaking the law but they only pick on her because she is Paris Hilton. Whatever!
It really is very hard to feel sorry for old Paris. My wife and I both agree that 45 days in a minimum security jail wouldn’t be so bad. Then again, we have small children so we view any opportunity to get away as akin to a tropical holiday. We also both like to read and could probably fill 45 days quite comfortably with all the books we wouldn’t mind catching up on. Probably not such a big help for Paris that one.
And furthermore, it is not like she is going to get touched up in there by the other women. I mean I have seen the DVD. She is a total dead root if ever there was one (clearly no publicist on hand telling her to play up to the camera on that fateful occasion). Look, if I was facing time in the slammer I would do everything I could to stay out too. But I just can’t help think to myself when I read her petition that perhaps she over estimates her importance just a bit. I think a bit of time behind bars would do her good.
When she comes out she will still be the same old Paris getting photographed at everything, partying away etc. But deep down, she will know that at the end of the day she is just like the rest of us. Except rich and hot. And that should be comfort enough.
Until next time
Cracker
posted by Unknown at 8:07 PM
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